WHAT'S going on? I think I have been left behind in the past 12 months.

Across the world, the social networking revolution has swept offices, homes and mobile phones, apart from mine. From once regarding myself as a reasonably technologically savvy individual who could get his mental faculties around any concept, I have come to the quick realisation that I am a Luddite.

But I have no regrets.

Let's look at this phenomenon. Why do people have an irresistible urge to be liked and appreciated? Most of us have only one or two close friends, those with whom we can discuss anything and everything. Such has been the case since Adam and Eve started their friendship in the Garden of Eden. If you've got more, they're not friends but acquaintances. Acquaintances to whom we seem to be telling our most intimate secrets !

Who cares if pop star 'Rocking Joe McDuff' posts every thought, bowel movement and nose blow?

Not me, that's for sure.

From the point of view of a 50-something grumpy curmudgeon, it looks as if the world has gone crazy. Everyone seems to want universal approval and if they don't get it then something is wrong. Let me tell you, dislike is a fact of life, as is duplicity, boorishness and the sad fact that Carlton has not won a premiership for many a long season.

And have all you Twitterers and Facebookers got nothing better to do than wear out the ends of your fingers at a keyboard?

The boss might well become your friend if you are a bit more productive and your partner/spouse a little more responsive if you talk to them.

I had better go now. I'm off to the pub to meet some acquaintances and twerp some twaddle.

I am proud to say I have no Twitter, Facebook or other social networking account. I prefer to call my friends on the phone or, best of all, meet up and talk face to face. Hence I can proudly sign myself off as Twitterfree. (Peter Simcock).