ELAINE Owen could be called the "lucky one" or a "survivor", but it makes little difference when she is still living the nightmare of a horror road crash 30 years ago.
On January 25, 1978, Elaine, who was 29, husband David Owen, 27 at the time, and son Craig, aged 18 months, were driving along the Calder Freeway to visit family just outside Kyneton.
They were two hours away from their destination when a drink-driver slammed into their car head-on, pushed them up against a road embankment, causing the trailer they were towing to ram into the back of their car.
The driver had a blood-alcohol reading of 0.286. He and his wife died instantly, but the young couple's baby son survived.
Each side of the Owen family car was smashed in.
David was not expected to survive the ambulance trip to the Royal Melbourne Hospital, where he and Elaine were admitted for emergency surgery.
Craig was taken to Kyneton District Hospital with burn marks from his baby seat.
"We had serious head injuries. My face was smashed in when I hit the dashboard," Elaine said. "They had to use plates to rebuild my face. My jaw had been severed in half, so they clamped it shut and I had to be fed through a tube."
She spent 10 weeks in hospital and believes that had she had access to counselling it might have prevented the onset of post-traumatic stress disorder 10 years after the crash. "We just got on with life, but we struggled to look after ourselves."
As a consequence of the head injuries, Elaine is legally blind in her left eye. In April doctors told her she had only three years of sight left in her right eye.
Three months later, Elaine was diagnosed with leukaemia.
She is still struggling to come to terms with the latest setbacks.
"I understand that trauma happens in life. You don't expect life to be without its incidents. But this was just getting too much. You think, what else is going to happen to me, all because of one drunk driver?
"My family keeps me going, especially our sons. You want to be around for them.
"I have close friends who I can talk to, but even then you don't want to burden them with 'Oh woe is me'. Most of it I kept to myself."
Aside from her own situation, Elaine is constantly reminded of the tragedy of road trauma.
"People are so arrogant on the roads. You're driving a lethal weapon. If you're at work operating machinery, you don't do it while you're drunk; you don't eat food, you're not putting on make-up, changing the radio station or texting on your mobile when drunk."
Elaine said she could only feel anger towards the drunk driver who turned her life upside down. She is also angry that his friends and family members didn't stop him from getting behind the wheel. "If you're in that situation you have to take the keys off them. I can live with that person's anger from me taking their keys, but I couldn't live with the consequences if they killed themselves or someone else."
For three years, Elaine has been a volunteer speaker with Road Trauma Support Victoria's traffic offender program, and believes she's making a difference.
Elaine doesn't consider herself "lucky to be alive" or "brave". She just doesn't want to sit in the corner sulking all her life.
"You can stay in that corner or you can get up and get on with things."
Senior Sergeant Ron Perrett, based at Springvale police station, is the division traffic co-ordinator for the municipalities of Casey, Greater Dandenong and Cardinia.
In his nine years working with the major collision unit, he quickly learned that road smashes were rarely accidents.
"Unless it's an act of God, like a tree falling on your car, road collisions are preventable."
He urged people to plan alternative travel arrangements for Christmas parties.
Senior Sergeant Perrett also warned about the dangers of driving to the country for holidays.
RTSTV provides free statewide counselling for people affected by road trauma. Services are provided for bereaved family members, drivers, passengers, witnesses and their family members and friends. Details: www.rtstv.org.au or call 1300367797.
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